18 January 2013
  Ugh.  Today is my birthday, my last one before the really big one.   Forty-friggin'-nine.  Cuarenta y nueve. Vierzig neun.  Quarante neuf.  Forty-nine. 
  And I am alone.  Which is preferable to being not alone, but still miserably, terribly, despondently lonely.  If I am going to be lonely, I want to suffer by myself.  I coupled up because I did not want to be lonely anymore. 
  Forty-nine.  Ugh.  I remember seeing my dad as he was turning fifty, and realizing my parents' mortality.  Now I am almost there.
  Ugh.

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